Using Pain As Fuel For Bhakti

Many people think that spiritual living means becoming happy and blissful through a connection with something higher than this material existence.  Bhakti is a bit different.  In Bhakti we do not strive to become happy and joyful.  What?  A Bhakti Yogi desires simply to be an instrument of service and devotion to God.  He or she does not attempt to avoid suffering and grasp at happiness, because they see that both conditions are simply mental states and perceptions of the flickering mind.  What one loves, another hates, and so on.  What one person takes pleasure in is for another person a nightmare.  So the Bhakti yogi is able to go beyond searching for happiness in this material world through realizing that actual happiness comes through a deep heart connection with God through a life of dedication and service.  How does that translate on a day-to-day level?  "yat karosi yad asnasi yaj judos dads yat yat tapasyasi kaunteya tat jurusva mad arpanam"  "O [Arjuna], all that you do, all that you eat, all that you offer and give away, as well as all austerities that you may perform, should be done as an offering unto Me"  BG 9:27.  Srila Prabhupada then says "Thus, it is the duty of everyone to mold his life in such a way that he will not forget Krishna in any circumstance."  Beautiful.  It is through sadhana and service that we build that rainbow bridge from our heart to the very heart of God.  For it to be Bhakti it must be done with love and devotion.  Simply performing austerities for their own sake or for any material cause, such as liberation from suffering, political maneuvering, or trying to obtain mystic powers, etc, is essentially futile.  But anything done for Krishna in love and devotion is permanent and for the welfare of everyone.

Today a person I was trying to hire for a small job showed up completely unprepared for the job and I turned him down.  He got angry and frustrated and left in a rush.  It was of course an uncomfortable situation.  That and some other stress were weighing on me earlier.  So what did I do?  Did I curse him and go for a cold beer or a joint?  Did I flip on the tv and zone out and say whatever?  No, I meditated on how this material world is essentially a place of suffering for everyone and rejoiced that Krishna had given me this opportunity to turn my own suffering into lamentation of my material bondage and separation from Krishna, and I took shelter of Radhanath Swami.  The Bhakti Yogi appreciates that suffering and pain can detach us from aspirations for trying to enjoy and exploit this world and hoping that the world and it's objects will bring happiness and contentment.
Some think this sounds pessimistic or negative, but actually it is the opposite.  The deep sense of happiness and peace that a Yogi feels cannot be compared to the little drops of flickering happiness we can extract from trying to enjoy our senses.  The highs of drugs are like firecrackers compared to the golden volcano of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu  overflowing us with divine eternal love of God.  If we can actually grasp that this world is simply a very pale reflection of the eternal realm of spiritual bliss, like a tree reflected on water, then we can start to aspire for yoga.  Every way we try to become happy materially leads eventually to more suffering.  Everything we become attached to in this world will be taken away.  It's that simple.  If we haven't seen it yet, we will eventually.  But what we can access and experience through yoga is a completely different experience of life, one of detachment, peace, and ever-increasing spiritual bliss....the catch though is that we don't strive to get to this state, it simply happens as a side-effect of our sincere dedication and practice.  The Yogi is not trying to be happy and sane, he just is through his life of spiritual wisdom and practice.  "He (the Bhakti Yogi) quickly becomes righteous and attains lasting peace." BG 9:31. This is Krishna's mercy on the sincere aspirant and not through our own strength and endeavor.  
BG 6:47: "And of all yogis, he who always abides in Me with great faith, worshiping Me in transcendental loving service, is most intimately united with Me in yoga and is the highest of all."  

                                        Jai, all glories to Srila Prabhupada.  Hari Haribol !!!