What the World Needs Most

The past few days have been very intense.  Yesterday I was very agitated by my anarthas and lusts and also disturbed by some poor soul online who posted very negative and nasty things about an article I wrote about Bhakti some time ago.  I responded perhaps a bit stronger than I should, but it was just so ignorant and offensive I had to say something.  It's so sad when people won't even try to understand what Bhakti is, even from a purely intellectual viewpoint, and instead spit venom and hatred on something they really know nothing about and have never tasted even a drop of.  It's a real shame, for them and their suffering condition.  I pray that they will investigate Bhakti openly and come to realize at least some of it's pure sweetness, power and glory.
Thankfully I was invited to go to a gathering of the only Vaishnava sangha (practicing group) I know of for hundreds of miles.  They are a group of spirited, very bright young ladies all around my age, who have been on the path of Bhakti for about two years.  I went to their house last night and we sung kirtan, heard a nice talk from one of them, and then feasted on prasadam, including some very delicious mangoes.  That was the medicine I needed, and I felt very clear afterwards, yet still somewhat troubled.  This morning I needed to run some errands in a very busy, mundane, commercial and rednecky area of the city.  I went first to a local farmer's market, which was decent, and bought a bunch of large fresh cantaloupes.  Then I went and got some speakers for the new "sound system" at the ashram aka speakers for the new ipod.  Already I have hundreds of hours of classes by Radhanath Swami and bhajans by the late Aindra Prabhu downloaded onto it.

As I go about my days in Louisville, I feel so incredibly sad for the suffering people of this city.  So many of them appear so bewildered; either with complete madness, aimlessly meandering in the hot sun, dirty and disheveled with no sense of hope or peace, or they seem completely absorbed in their personal sense gratification, eyes glazed over with a false sense of pleasure and security in their oversized cars and grossly overweight bodies.  What could I possibly do?  Only an extremely rare soul will even tolerate hearing about Krishna and about Bhakti, or so it seems.  And of the ones that listen, only a small fraction of those will take to devotional service.  But I must press on.  Krishna is helping me in every way possible.  He's given me all facility, all the tools I need, plenty of food, enough money, a car, and now he's so kind he's helping me set up a program at the local yoga studio, if all goes well.  But it is a long road.  I've been trying to remain very focused in my morning sadhana.  Lots of concentrated japa for long periods.
 I need to be more open, more willing to sacrifice, and more inviting.  But, it's been a trip just getting the center cleaned up and decent for visitors, and it's just now at that point.  Today I did a lot of yard work and got the bathroom clean, finally.  Tomorrow is looking to be a special day because I've invited the sangha over to the house for a sort of inauguration of the center, sure to be full of lots of kirtan, feasting, and Krishna katha (talks about Krishna).  Really looking forward to that.  So I'm going to be preparing for that all day tomorrow, even though I was hoping to selfishly have that day to myself.  And then, On Monday a group of traveling monks (brahmacaris) might be coming to stay the night, hopefully!    
More and more I'm just staying focused on Radhanath Swami.  With the new ipod, I have his classes playing for hours as I work, which is totally priceless for my Bhakti.  Today during his class he said something which elucidated so well on my personal pain over the condition of the suffering souls I mentioned: "The greatest poverty is to not see Him, to not feel Him, to not know Him and to not love Him.  And the only real wealth, the only real fortune in all of this creation is realization of Krishna, love for Krishna, experience of Krishna in our lives.  Everything that we are looking for in everything we are pursuing in life; the fulfillment of that desire can only be had in Krishna."  Radhanath Swami speaks to my heart more deeply than anyone else.

A calf gets the mercy

At this point I'm looking extremely forward to going to India.  I was thinking today, that perhaps I should spend some time in his ashram in Chowpatty.
The suffering of the people here breaks my heart, but Srila Prabhupada and Radhanath Swami hold the pieces together and give me the strength to carry on the work destined for me.  I have no other strength but them and my other spiritual guardians.  May they look over me and bless me with the spiritual strength to serve.